Virginia Does Nebraska

Tales from an opinionated Red Head

Dear Todd Akin August 20, 2012

Filed under: Likes and Dislikes — virginiadoesnebraska @ 10:29 PM
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Dear Todd Akin,

Thank you for reversing humanity a thousand years. Thank you for spreading the word that women are evil, and trying to make the point that we could stop a pregnancy from happening from a “legitimate” rape or by association an “oops” moment. That would mean that every time a woman became prego she must have wished upon a magic star to do so, or else she could have turned that “he wasn’t a good enough genetic donor” button and immediately not conceived. I can’t spend much time on this issue or else I will be screaming profanities….oh wait, congrats, you are the first person I am willing to say this to in print, “go fuck yourself”. And yes, you can quote me on that. People like you should be living in the dark ages and crying “she turned me into a newt! I got better….”.

I know the people in good ole Mizzou, and they’ll never accept a witch doctor, fear mongering, idiot like you. So go ahead, don’t pull out (no pun intended) and let the numbers prove to you that we may all have polarized views on issues, but no one can back this ridiculous view except for your idiot cult members.

Love,
Someone who hopes, even though you are deplorable, that you never experience an illegitimate or legitimate rape.

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The Zombie Apocalypse, and other non humans in the news July 3, 2012

Filed under: Likes and Dislikes — virginiadoesnebraska @ 12:54 PM
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Zombies?  Well I sure hope so.  I feel like I am adequately prepared to battle these kinds of zombies.  You know, the homeless naked ones.  Between kickboxing classes, my love and study of horror flicks, and my questionable urge to shoot things, I should have a fighting chance.  Recently a small pet fell victim to our latest Zombie, and I find that made me more upset than when people got eaten…hmm….Zombies aside, (we will just continue to monitor their ranks and activities) there are a few other non humans in the news this week that I would like to address.

–Some city in Oregan: (name not worthy of reprinting) This non human has canceled the fireworks display due to the threat of disturbing birds.  Really?  Are these birds golden geese?  No, just some lame seabird that’s not even endangered.  Here’s a few other things that disturb tweeties that we don’t seem to care about:  airports and airplanes, turkey season, chicken nuggets, glass windows, nascar, deforestation, plastic six pack rings, alkaseltzer or poprocks….just pointing out the idiocy of ruining a national past time for birds.

–Crazy Scientology Katie Holmes Stalker: (probably really a non human of alien stock)  So our girl Joey finally decided to get away from Theton Six (or whatever) Cruise, good for her! But now there is some alien stalking her in the name of scientology.  Apparently poor thing is scared that Tom and his minions might try and snag Suri.  Somehow, I doubt her fears are unfounded.  But you gotta give these guys credit.  They base their whole existence on mythology that was wait, written by a SCIENCE FICTION author, that’s ballsy.  I think it’s hard enough for most people to try and explain, “so there’s a dude in the sky who see’s everything and created this whole planet in 7 days, yada yada” but can you imagine trying to tell the story of Scientology with a straight face? (please reference the brilliant South Park episode breaking it down).  So I’m rooting for Katie.

–Italian Dad kicks kid in the face: (aren’t all eurpeans non human?) Well this guy gets father of the year award.  Where better to beat the crap out of your kid than the Epcot center??  I myself might’ve chosen the Magic Kingdom if only for the irony.  Epcot is the nerdier part of Disney with way less cool rides.  So I can imagine that this kid might have been whining (like I did as a kid) that Epcot sucks.  Perhaps dad was pissed off at the ride inside the golf ball thing that really missed the mark on predicting our future. I know I was super let down when 2012 hit and I didn’t get a rocket pack.  But under no circumstances should you kick your kid in the face, EVER, especially while at the happiest place on earth.  That poor kid will be scarred for life.  Thanks Dad.

–US apologizes to Pakistan for drone strike:  Wait, wait, wait a second.  Have they apologized for the whole Bin Laden fiasco?  Me thinks not.  When did we lose our cajones America?  We are such politically correct lame-asses nowadays.  “Well Pakistan, I know that you secretly hate us, hid our number one enemy, and will turn on us the second that someone (ahem Iran) offers you a sweeter deal, but man, we are sooooooooooo sorry we wiped out 24 whole people, whoopsy, our bad!  Can we still sit with you at lunch??”  I’m pretty sure that kid is called a sissy on the playground.  Whatever, this topic makes me want to barf.

In summary, cheers to our non humans of the week for seriously flawed yet amusing decision making.

 

Oh how the misinformation flies…I’m talking to you hippie on Facebook…. June 19, 2012

Ok, I know that this world revolves on scaring the masses with misinformation in order to push an agenda, I get it.  But rarely do you actually get to hear a rebuttal from someone who can clearly refute stupid shit.  For instance, I saw this meme on facebook telling all of us that we should boycott these brands (pic posted) because they use Monsanto seeds….So, I’m like hmm, well I KNOW Orville Redenbacher and ACTII can’t be listed, I know that as a fact!!!  But alas!!! There was Orville, and I started to get my angry red head face.  Also, ConAgra as a whole company was listed, what a crock of _____.

For those who may not know, I’m a Sr. International Regulatory Affairs Specialist for ConAgra foods, so I actually know “stuff” that these dummies pretend to know and state as fact.  Fact, our popcorn has nothing to do with Monsanto.  Orville Redenbacher was actually a real dude who spent his life developing his own hybrid seeds.  ACTII, is the same and has been developed from hybridization over the years and also has nothing to do with Monsanto.

I mean really you anti Monsanto people….you listed every single manufacturer in the top 10 food companies in your list.  And, you are stupid because you list brands separately, and then whole companies…Perhaps your first google search should be which big companies own what brands, then you could at least be organized and consolidate you pack of lies.  Maybe you should inform your fellow hippies who care about transgenic food (which I don’t because the science is sound, take a genetics class) that there are certain crops that you or big companies can’t get enough of to use commercially.  Most corn and soy in the US and Canada are GMO, maybe you should look up the prices of identity preserved corn and its products before you try and outlaw it.  It’s up to 4 times more expensive (because few farmer’s grow it, because they can’t afford to, because the yields suck) than GMO corn.  In this economic climate, I don’t think most Americans what to double the price of food in the name of being a scared, non scientific, tree hugger.

I don’t care about Monsanto, I just care about the facts.  GMOs are fine. You’ve been eating them for years, as have our parents and grandparents….stop being afraid of science and maybe embrace the fact that GMOs have made it possible to grow corn in drought ridden Africa and fed starving populations. 

Last but not least, to the best of my knowledge, ConAgra is not owned by Monsanto….in fact if Monsanto did indeed have the trillions of dollars to own all of the companies (and brands) below, I’d totally try to get a job with them, considering they would control 90% of the US food supply….Get with it people and don’t believe this trash.

AND, you should list every food manufacturer that uses oils, corn syrup, and/or tocopherols, because my money’s on the GMOs.

 

NE Orders “pink slime” for schools next year….HELL YES NEBRASKA!!!! Way to stick to your educated beef loving guns! June 6, 2012

Victory for my new home state of Nebraksa!  I have to say I am very proud of Nebraska, Iowa, and South Dakota for not bending to the public’s irrational fears like some of even the biggest corporations, ahem McDonald’s.  Now the articles I have read have spun it, “Nearly every state opts out of LFTB (lean fine textured beef aka. pink slime)” and seem to be touting some kind of victory over all that is evil in the world…..Oh ye stupid stupid people, there is no victory here.  What have you gained?  Your kids are still eating fast food garbage, shitty pizza, cookies, sodas, etc. at school, but thank the sweet lord there isn’t LEAN beef in those burgers!!  Really, do you think the schools are serving the 90/10 ground beef?  Hell, no, I’d guesstimate its the bottom of the barrel (aka cheapest) available, and also the fattiest.  What else have we not gained…oh well, education, the facts for LFTB were presented and then it was like “eh, who cares?” nobody argued against them, because they knew they were right…so it comes down to, “Well, it still looks icky, so good for humanity that we did something about it …”

Am I really to believe that the bored housewives (particularlly an ex lawyer who is bitter about her cirumstances since she used to have a productive job, and now she is productive in saving the kids from the evils of food) actually send their kids to school without a packed lunch?  Am I to believe that these overly protective nanny mom’s let their kids eat school food?  Yeah, I doubt it, because they can afford to feed their kids…(let’s assume that since they are not working).  What about the parents who have to pay for their kids school lunch?  What if an extra 20 cents makes a difference to those parents?  What if by you (who’s kids dont NEED school lunch) making such a big fuss over nothing, costs the schools more money to purchase non LFTB meat, thereby increasing the price of the school lunch program??  Good one! You should be soooo proud of your petitions and media frenzy because you are just so damned intelligent and like Bloomberg, we should all thank you for looking out for us.

Just because you are a lawyer, or even just educated, doesn’t mean you know shit about food production.  Go back and get a Meat Science, Food Science, or Animal Science degree and get back to me.  Maybe I will loath you and your inaccuracies less….. (doubtful).

 

Top 5 Stupid People in the news…and it’s only Wednesday. May 23, 2012

Stupid people…they’re everywhere.  But sometimes you just have to call them out by name.  I have lovingly chosen my personal top 5 dummies of the week.

1. Facebook overnight millionaires-Sure you are actually really smart and now you are million/billionaires…But there is a reason why they call in noveau riche, and that’s dumb spending.  Home prices in Palo Alto are soaring and people are paying more than the asking prices and actually advertising themselves to sellers…STUPID.  And the whole part about being “worth” a certain amount of stock $ means that you don’t actually have that money in cold hard cash.  And damn, they are already being investigated (JP Morgan, the bank hadling the IPO) by the SEC and sued by shareholders and it’s only been a week!!! I wouldn’t be paying 600,000$ over the pricetag for a house just yet.

2. China-China is one of my favorite kids to pick on.  Exploding watermelons, Clenbuterol in pork, melamine, and now….a 2 fly rule.  Yes, China has regulated that there shall only be 2 flies per stall in their publice restrooms (Bejiing).  Now I’m no international regulatory expert (oh wait, yes I am) but where does one get the #2?  How do you monitor this?  Do you have the death penalty for the attendant that fails to keep it from more than 2 flies?  Do you have nothing better to worry about like women’s rights, abandoned children, and sketchy food producers? STUPID

3. The Obama administration-Ok, this one’s good.  The administration and the CIA provided information for a MOVIE regarding the Usama Bin Laden crusade, and now people in Pakistan that helped the CIA are getting arrested and thrown in jail for treason.  All in the name of Hollywood.  STUPID.  Better be a damned good movie.

4. The masses-are we all really suprised that the secret service dudes get it on with chicks and pay for it?  I mean really, they travel 24/7, have a super secret job, when do they have time for small talk?  Give the guys a break.  Caring about what other people do for kicks, STUPID. 

5. School Administrators with no sense of humor-suspending seniors for a mass bike ride to school?  Oh the horrors!!!  Yes, at 18 years of age and the ability to vote, a bike ride is what you are worried about.  They are about to go off to college where they will binge drink, eat poorly, and make bad life decisions with at least 2 partners, and you are worried about a mass bike ride. STUPID!!!!

 

Here we go again…..Meat glue scares the crap out of big dummies, quick get on the bandwagon!!!! May 22, 2012

So, as you may know I am a huge advocate for the food and meat industries, and I feel qualified to stick up for some of the practices and in this case ingredients that get a bad rap. 4 years in poultry quality (4 separate plants ALL types of processing), 2 years in pet food, and now back in human food, I’ve picked up some facts along the way.

Meat glue=transglutaminase, which is a naturally occurring enzyme that even comes from fermenation instead of animal blood, so it’s kinda vegan actually 🙂  Anywho, it allows for pieces of meat to adhere to each other by speeding up a reaction between the proteins of the pieces of meat.  This is similar to that types of enzymes that cause meat tenderizing i.e. marinades.  It’s not scary, it won’t kill you (unless maybe you sniff it), and commercial food processors only use it in small amounts to effect texture.

Why the big fuss then?  Well apparently your butcher is eeeeeeevil, just like us big bad food corporations.  He sits around collecting scraps then uses meat glue to put them all together and charge you for filet.  Is it possible? Yes, anything is possible.  Is it likely that there is a huge steak conspiracy in America, doubtful.  Chefs and sometimes butchers USUALLY use it to put a few pieces (2-3) of meat together for a uniform piece of meat or for a neat combo of meats like wrapping salmon in chicken skin or bacon wrapped filets.

The fact that this is in the news is tres pathetique.  Shut up and eat your delicous filet mignon, even if it was once 2 pieces of filet mignon at birth 😉

 

Pink slime…get your learn on people!!!! (reposted from old blog) May 1, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — virginiadoesnebraska @ 2:06 PM
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Ok, I’ve been following the pink slime debacle, otherwise known as lean fine textured beef, and those of you on FB know I get passionate about it.  It’s not even the LFTB in general, but it’s everyone’s willingness to attack and industry without doing their research.  It’s also everyone’s idea that the food industry is evil and profit seeking and doesn’t care about the people they feed.  I just don’t understand??  Maybe that’s because I’m an insider, but those of you who know me can attest that I’m not evil, I don’t want anyone, including myself, my friends, or family, to ever eat something that will hurt them.  However, since when did we as Americans with a hint of education believe that anything, much less a food product, can EVER be 100% safe?  And, if it is safe as it can be, are we really going to get pissed because we don’t like the way it was produced?

Let me tell you this people, and I’m no genius, but I know my shit…..The food industry can make safe products, but unless you are willing to have additives, like ammonia (which is perfectly safe and also occurs in meat naturally) or irradiation, you are running in circles.  People constantly cry out for safe affordable food, and industry complies.  Then, some British dude gets on tv and does an inaccurate demonstration and people go off their rockers….let me educate you about LFTB that I would happily munch on as have YOU for the past years….

LFTB is produced by taking the trimmings that people on the production line have cut off and set aside.  It’s then put into a centrifuge ( a machine that spins it around and around) and heated so that the fat separates from the REAL BEEF MEAT.  The fat is spun out and you are left with just the beef protein.  Afterwards, to ensure food safety, it is treated with ammonia gas, which is a USDA approved food additive that kills bacteria.  I just wish people would google ground beef production and understand without interventions like ammonia gas or irradiation (that the public cries out against since they don’t understand how safe and effective it is) it’s almost impossible to ensure safe meat.  There is no way to keep fecal contamination from the hides from finding it’s way onto the carcass.  I mean really, anyone who has ever seen a cow’s ass knows how messy they are. 

So, if you want completely natural products without safe interventions like ammonia or irradiation, have at it.  But I personally don’t want to hear you bitch when you get E. Coli.  Let the scientists and experts do their best to protect you.  Yes, they want to make money, but who doesn’t??  Who starts a business with the hopes of pissing consumers off, making no money, or running it like a charity?  Industry tries to make a safe and wholesome product for as cheap as possible, why? So you can afford it and yes, so they can make a buck.  Do you think Apple is in business to make you happy for free?  To feed your electronic addiction for nothing because they are nice?  Just sayin…..

PS-Food additives and industry ingenuity has been feeding you and keeping you alive for years, and nothing is 100% safe…..ever.  Not even your water supply.